Testimonials

We invite you to read the many discoveries families have made about their relationships with their children when using the Connector Rx. If you have been using the Connector Rx with your child we would love to hear from you! Be sure to send your success stories along with a photo or video. With your permission we will post the information you send us for other families and professionals to view and learn from.

“I am not exaggerating when I tell you the Connector Rx has been LIFE CHANGING!!! We are able to do things with Ben in and out of the home that were nearly impossible before.” (Fliearman Family) ...read more

“I connected with Mitchell and for the first time ever he put his ornaments on the tree." (Potter Family) ...read more

"Regarding the hiking last summer; without the Connector Rx that would never have been able to happen. Mitchell would have been sitting down after the first 50 feet." (Potter Family) ...read more

“I attended your morning workshop in Bend, OR and purchased the Connector Rx. I used it that afternoon with Dan (15yrs), and it was amazing how his engagement changed." (Erkenbeck Family) ...read more

"We love it...it is like plugging Katie into the fastest internet connection and on the other end is me :)" (Shawny Family) …read more

"This morning I went to practice with Houlton and we demonstrated how it's (the Connector Rx) supposed to work. They were all amazed at how easily Houlton ran up and down the court dribbling the ball." (Price Family) …read more

"When I'm on the Connector Rx. I feel very comfortable and relaxed; I feel that I have a better connection with my surroundings because one of my parents, who I trust, is with me." (Tyler Thoresen, 17 years old) …read more

"Other people have commented on the tether and have asked us where we got them. We tell them how you developed this and how it has changed our family life forever." (Bosanko Family) …read more

"When Mathew became afraid he would run, and I would have to run after him. The connector helped me slow the process down for Mathew so that he could realize that he was safe." (Jordan Family) …read more

"This time when he started to show signs of anxiety we put on the Connector Rx. Shockingly he sat down next to me and patiently waited through the next 45 minutes without any negative behavior or objections." (Frood Family) …read more

"He appears much calmer and more organized when he is wearing his connector and, most importantly, we feel a greater emotional connection to Skylar and sense that he feels more emotionally connected to us too." (Tabor Family) …read more

“In short, the Connector Rx has given us hope for our son. It has shown us how capable he is, whereas many other therapies just didn’t seem to work for him. " (Toon Family) …read more

"The Connector Rx has become my most beloved tool to bring Paul back to a regulated and "normally functioning" state while providing that full cycle of learning." (Redsky Family) …read more

"After playing for about 30 minutes with the connector on, Andrew came over voluntarily and gave me a very sweet hug. That hasn't happened in years!" (Boedigheimer Family) …read more

"What is the Connector Rx? It is a tool. It is the rare wind blowing a gentle push in just the right direction on a tough uphill run. It is stacking the deck. Yes, we must stack the deck for our kids." (Christy) …read more

“My husband and I attended Eric’s lecture at Fraser in Minneapolis last week. We purchased a “Connector Rx” for our son Benjamin. Ben is one of our quadruplet boys; he is seven years old and has profound autism. We also have a high functioning autistic son Isaac, Caleb with PDD-NOS and Max who is typical. When I bought it my thought was ‘please don’t let this be one more thing I waste our money on that doesn’t work!!’

It has been the best purchase I have made in a long time!

I am not exaggerating when I tell you the connector has been LIFE CHANGING!!! We are able to do things with Ben in and out of the home that were nearly impossible before. He is calmer with the connector on, more attentive and safer when we are in public. Let me tell you a couple on things we have been able to accomplish with your invention…Greg attended an autism walk with Ben and two of his brothers, I took Ben to an ENT appointment that would have been complete chaos without the connector (and he did a hearing test with it on!!), PCA’s can sit and enjoy a meal, book or movie while Ben has it on, we can take walks and enjoy Ben so much more-the list goes on!!!

We finished Special Olympics swimming tonight and after I changed Ben I put the connector on and enjoyed 30 MINUTES in the lobby with Ben and we were able to visit other parents and were able to hold a conversation with and we all raved about you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, thank you for changing, enhancing and improving Ben’s life and those who love him and want him to enjoy and experience things!!!

Sincerely,
Molly and Greg Fliearman

p.s. We need to video some of it for you because our dog (black lab) even likes the connector!!!”

“I connected with Mitchell and for the first time ever he put his ornaments on the tree. I can’t tell you how many different ways or rewards I’ve used over the years to coax him to participate. He’s had a lot of firsts with us this year, and it’s all due to the Connector. Who would have thought that some nylon, clips and a rope in between would be the one thing that has allowed us to share these new experiences. Even with all of the transition and health issues that Mitchell’s had due to school, we can still connect and work on our relationship. That amazes me.” (Potter Family)

When we first used the connector in April of 2008, we were amazed by Mitchell’s interaction with Eric on the nature trail. We thought if Mitchell could respond so easily to someone he just met, just imagine what we could do with him.

That night we were talking about the hiking at home, and how Mitchell would finally be able to go with us. Our first hike was 4.7 miles with no inclines. When we got out of the car, Mitchell was a little hesitant, but he hooked up easily. Rick took our three year old, I hooked up with Mitchell and our other two kids were not happy that they didn’t get to sleep in. With anything new, I always am a little anxious about Mitchell’s reaction. I knew it was a long hike, and in the past Mitchell would have been sitting down after the first 50 feet. His pace is also what we describe as slow and slower. I had to reduce my regular pace, but Mitchell was able to keep up. My anxiety declined as he was visibly enjoying himself. I don’t know who started it, but somehow the six of us were paired up in twos and sprinting for short distances. Mitchell and I never came in first, but he absolutely loved participating. After the first three miles, we were done sprinting and our eleven year old wanted to connect. It wasn’t long before Mitchell said, “Ready, set, go.” and he was pulling her along and making us laugh. We were ecstatic with his initiation and involvement. It was more than what we had anticipated. Mitchell is not one to engage easily. That’s the beauty of the Connector Rx. It creates an atmosphere that is very unstructured, and after living so many years of having everything broke down so precisely, we can relax, Mitchell can relax and we can enjoy one another. It’s actually retrained us in how we relate to him. Some benefits that we are experiencing now: Mitchell coming to where we are and being with us (not necessarily participating every time but a big improvement); trying to talk to his dad as soon as he gets home; best of all we have a little baker (no more instructions and getting things out ahead of time). This is no pressure and a collaborative effort.

All that I mentioned may seem all rosy, but all of these accomplishments have come at an extremely difficult time for Mitchell. Since last September, incredible obstacles at school have constantly challenged him. The Connector Rx has been the one thing that we can use and make no major demands of him. It’s simple – just make if fun for the both of you. I’ve had a lot of people look twice and say, “Hey, that’s a great safety device.” I smile. I’ve had parents of disabled kids who comment that it’s silly. I tell them that I agree. Who would have thought that a couple pieces of nylon, some rope and clips could have given us the opportunity to go back and establish a relationship with our child who for so long has showed such little interest in us and believe me it was never from a lack of trying.

We are well aware of the obstacles that we’ll face in Mitchell’s future, but now we have that one thing that is a constant - the Connector Rx. You don’t have to tell it how to work with your child; it somehow makes it easier for the child to interact with you.

Our first hike at Shevlin Park

Regarding the hiking last summer; without the Connector Rx that would never have been able to happen. Mitchell would have been sitting down after the first 50 feet.

One last thing – in all our years with Mitchell – I did want to mention that we have tried so many things for Mitchell, but none has held the promise or even a glimpse of what we’ve experienced with the Connector Rx.

Crater Lake – this was after 3 days of camping in Ashland, so we’re a little grungy. With the connector that weekend, Mitchell was able to participate in almost all of the relay games at my sister’s company picnic & fishing in the lake!

* “I attended your morning workshop in Bend, OR and purchased the Connector Rx. I used it that afternoon with Dan (15yrs), and it was amazing how his engagement changed. Usually he would just talk, talk, talk, about his creations etc. When we attached and walked, he was talking to me instead of at me, using phrases like "you should try this", "I really think you could do it!” etc. We took turns deciding which direction to go, he even included the dog in the choices, and asked if we could go into a Video Game store. He was not intimidated at all about having the belt on. Wow! We dusted the house on Saturday, and I am looking forward to going shopping with him. That will be a challenge for him as he likes to take off for the toy section or the magazines. Dan told me he likes using the Connector Rx, that it makes him feel good.

Thank you so much. (Erkenbeck Family)

* “Katie and I have been using the "Connector Rx" again for about 2 months now...about an hour a day. Have you ever seen this tool? It looks like we are both wearing a belt with one rope tied to both of us. We love it...it is like plugging Katie into the fastest internet connection and on the other end is me :)

So, tonight my husband came home early and Katie and I were connected. We were connected and jamming to Mamma Mia...Katie requested "Honey, Honey". We were connected, marching around the house to Honey, Honey, and waiving around our therabands. We were supposed to be using them for strength training, but really they make lovely sash-like, twirly, girlie, shake until you drop accessories. What a fabulous time. Did I mention she knows many of the words? Or how about the fact that she bolts out the tune into a wooden salad spoon, which serves much better as an exciting microphone.

* Houlton is in the middle of his sixth grade basketball season right now. He has a really good coach this year. By that I mean he actually talks to Houlton and lets him play in games. It's great how satisfied you can be when you have low expectations. (His coach last year didn't want to deal with him at all and required that we have a volunteer there to be in charge of Houlton.) But, seriously, Mr. B is a very good coach and truly believes in inclusion, uses natural supports, and sees how having Houlton on the team is good for everybody involved.

During games he has Houlton paired up with a teammate who helps him out. Last week I popped into Mr. B.'s classroom after school to show him the connector and explain how it works. They used it in Thursday's game, but not very well. One kid was connected at the waist, but put his arm around Houlton's shoulder and escorted him slowly around. Another kid took a turn but held on to his end sort of like a dog leash.

* "When I'm on the Connector Rx. I feel very comfortable and relaxed; I feel that I have a better connection with my surroundings because one of my parents, who I trust, is with me. When I'm not hooked up, I get distracted and don't get social cues very well. I like having it on because, it makes me respond more, and I'm more attentive in my social interactions."

(Tyler Thoresen, 17 years old)

* “My family came to Pace Place in the summer of 2007. We came because Cameron, our son, has severe autism, is nonverbal and had behavioral issues such as running in stores, not sitting at the table, not staying with us when out in the community, etc. I am an autism specialist in the Federal Way School district, and had referred families to Pace Place, but now that I was the son of a child with autism, I recognized that we needed your help.

While at Pace Place, you taught us how to use the "Friendship Tether" a piece of nylon cord with carabineers attached to each end. We fitted a carbineer to Cam and one to you and you showed us how we could take Cam places and how he would no longer need to run because he would feel connected to somebody and connected to his environment. With the Friendship Tether, you showed us how we could go grocery shopping, go to the children’s' museum, the zoo, even the emergency room when he fell down the stairs at the house and Steve went to the doctor with us. All of these events had always been tough. A lot of times it had just been easier to keep Cam at home and one of us go alone or with Cam's sister. I remember watching Cam at the Chinese Garden with you and his dad. He was calm. He had a smile on his face. He seemed relieved. We were too.

So, when it came time to go home, we took the Friendship Tethers with us. This has been a Godsend. Many times, Cam now holds our hands. He stays with us. There are many times lately when we do not need to use them, such as at the grocery store. Other people have commented on the tether and have asked us where we got them. We tell them how you developed this and how it has changed our family life forever. We can go places as a family and not worry about losing Cam, but also we see him actively engaged in activities now. When we go to the Seattle Aquarium, he is able to slow down and look at the fish, touch the animals in the tide pools, and not just make a mad dash towards the exit. When we go tot he mall, we can show him things. At the grocery store he helps us shop by putting vegetables into bags, putting the foods that he likes into the cart and is thus contributing something to the family.

Cameron seems to like the tether and will wait for us to attach it to his belt instead of trying to run out into a parking lot. Cam is now 7 and 1/2 years old, still severely autistic, nonverbal, and very active, but much calmer and happier out in the community with his family. We have fun doing ordinary family things and I know, without a doubt, that the tether and what we learned from you and the rest of the staff at Pace Place made a difference. Thank-you so much.” (Bosanko Family)

* “How does a deaf person learn to dance, when they cannot hear the music? They learn to watch their partner. This is how I best explain what I am doing when I am working with my son on the Connector Rx.

Mathew has been in constant motion since he learned to roll over. He did not just roll over once, when he learned to do it he went across the room. He was 2 years old when we went for our first OT visit, the therapist watched him and said "We are way past busy". Mathew had not slowed down much when we started to work with Eric, when he was 6. Our original work with PACE did not include the connector, so I have had the opportunity as a parent to tell you what it added in our ability to help Mathew.

When Mathew became afraid he would run, and I would have to run after him. The connector helped me slow the process down for Mathew so that he could realize that he was safe. We built our relationship doing the simplest thing, walking together. I would play that I had to go slow or fast, Mathew learned to watch me and started regulate his pace to mine. He could learn from me because his focus was no longer on how to get himself out of a situation but on what I was saying or doing.

One of the best experiences I had with him was helping to get comfortable in a crowd. When I would pick him up from school to walk home he would ask if we could run away from the kids, he also did not want me talking to people. We hooked up as I called it then. I simply walked slower and talked to the kids. He was often separated from the other children in class, I was able to have the staff start to bringing Mathew closer in to the group. He has learned to watch for non- verbal cues from his teachers as well as family members. He is now at grade level in his reading and he is able to participate in all of the activities in school. His progress has caught the attention of teachers, neighbors, store clerks, doctors, coaches, and pastors.

Mathew has brought a lot of hope to other families and they have been more willing to seek help after seeing the gains he has made.

* “The first time we tried using the Connector Rx outside of PACE was at the doctor's office. We have a very lengthy appointment once or twice a year with a special DAN doctor. Duncan usually does alright for the first hour or so and then begins to get anxious. This time when he started to show signs of anxiety we put on the Connector Rx. Shockingly he sat down next to me and patiently waited through the next 45 minutes without any negative behavior or objections. The Connector Rx hasn't always been magical, but in some situations it is the perfect "peacemaker".” (Frood Family)

* “The Connector Rx has allowed our family to do so many things that we either couldn’t do before, or couldn’t do before without significant emotional challenges on our entire family. My husband and I have triplet boys, age 7. While his brothers are typically developing, our son Skylar is on the autism spectrum and has mild cerebral palsy. He is non-verbal and has significant cognitive impairment due to microcephaly.

We can go many places and have noticed a great change in Skylar when we go out in public. We can go for a walk as a family without having to constantly re-direct Skylar or become concerned that we are hurting him by constantly pulling on his arm. He appears much calmer and more organized when he is wearing his connector and, most importantly, we feel a greater emotional connection to Skylar and sense that he feels more emotionally connected to us too. We now feel like we are walking together unlike before the Connector, when he would typically walk or run ahead on his own, erratic, unpredictably, and seemingly oblivious to the rest of the family nearby. It is easier to talk to him, show him things, and interact with him overall.

Skylar and his family out on the river with Heart of Sailing

I can take him to the grocery store, the park, anywhere knowing that he is safer as well. Transporting him from the car through a parking lot is safer and less stressful. I don’t always have to rely on his stroller. Yes, he may have a tantrum and fall on the ground if he doesn’t want to go somewhere, but I can attempt to talk to him and try to manage the situation more successfully knowing that he is safe and unable to run away.

Skylar and mom playing together at a fountain and a picnic.

Skylar is aware that we are physically connected but with the connector, he doesn’t seem to feel like we are controlling him constantly like he did before. For example if I change direction or stop, the vast majority of the time he will follow my lead without the fuss or clear displeasure which he may have expressed before. Despite his difficulties initiating or engaging with us, the Connector allows him greater opportunity to do so. When he wants to go in a specific direction, if I remain still and he senses that his leaning towards the desired direction is not effective, he will now come to me and reach more my hand to lead me towards where he would like to go. Words can’t explain how exciting it is when he initiates any interaction with us like this!

* "Connecting Back to Normal"

* "Something unusual happened today while the connector was on. After playing for about 30 minutes with the connector on, Andrew came over voluntarily and gave me a very sweet hug. That hasn't happened in years! It was so wonderful to feel him initiate that kind of connection with me." (Boedigheimer Family)

* Ahh, the Connector Rx. The first time I put the Connector Rx on Katie she was three years old; what a little peanut she was! I placed the belt around myself and then placed the belt around Katie. I watched Katie's breathtaking blue eyes trace the rope between us as if she was looking at some vast bridge that ran between two oceans. She looked up at me and with an uneasy smile said, "We're stuck." I smiled back and said, "Yes Katie, we are stuck."

For us the Connector Rx wasn't a magic pill that somehow made my beautiful daughter less on the spectrum. (Wouldn't that be nice?) It is however a tool that stacks the deck in my favor. It creates opportunities to share more experiences in a reciprocal way. We are in this together...literally. My message to Katie was clear and powerful:

I am placing a demand on you, my princess. My demand is this: You will move with me through space. I will share my space with you and you will share your space with me. When necessary, I will hold the space for you until the relationship can be reciprocal, repaired, and once again balanced with me. You, Katie, will be an integral part of this process taking more ownership of this space as you acquire more skills. When you are uncomfortable, I will expect you to 'Come be uncomfortable WITH ME.' When you are angry, I will expect you to 'Come and scream NEXT TO ME.' When you are laughing I will expect you to 'Come and share your laughter WITH ME.' When you are confused the Connector Rx will hold the space for us so that I will be able to simply lean over to script a question for you because there we are, together again, and again, and again. Come share this journey with me, Katie. Let us explore and be brave together joined at the hip... yours to mine and mine to yours; and away we go.

Our pre-Connector Rx routine was the same every morning: I would hear Katie speaking, half-nonsense and half-scripting, in her bed. Even though she sounded funny, her little voice was so sweet and I was always so excited to see her.

I'd knock on Katie's door and she'd say, "Come in, Mommy." Next, she'd reach for me, I'd pick her up, we'd change her diaper, get dressed, and then Katie would RUN out of the room to grab her toys and play with them inappropriately - mostly just holding them and staring at them. I'd spend the rest of the day trying to desperately jump in - WAITING, WATCHING for my moment and ANTICIPATING when was going to be a moment I might entice her to play with me. How exhausting!

After leaving the PACE Place Immersion Workshop I was determined to wear this Connector Rx from sunrise to sunset. And we did for about six solid weeks. It wasn't easy, especially with all of the looks in the grocery store and playground. But I was determined to try to help Katie create new pathways and experiences. So my husband and I boxed up all the little toys. Instead, Katie was connected and she was going to do laundry with me, going to feed Blue (our dog), going to take a bath, going to take out the garbage, and going to take Blue for a walk. Funny, on some of our walks Katie and I would be connected, Blue and I would be connected, and Katie and Blue would be connected. Let's see if Eric can do a study on that little triangle? Why not? Let's throw a crazy dog into the connected-ness, let's share the love, shall we?

Anyway, I was tired of lighting myself on fire while tap dancing just to catch a glimpse of Katie's smile and I wanted to see if we could just enjoy the smells in the fruit aisle of the grocery. I wanted to try to initiate and ignite Katie's interest in the world by holding up a mango, sniffing the mango, and watching to see if she would follow suit. I wanted to see what would happen exploring the grocery store and sharing these experiences without my constant patter of, "look at this, look at me, look at that, look at me..." If Katie wasn't interested, no problem. I would simply start walking and a gentle tug would remind her, "Oh, we are moving together now." So, on a good day, I'd put a pineapple on my head and sing the Chiquita banana song and Katie would laugh and I'd feel like I won the lottery. On a tougher day, I’d look like an idiot singing in the grocery store, Katie stares off into space, and I'm reminded that it is time to move on. Perhaps on those days, I shed a few tears as we kept marching on. Again, what is the message here? On the one hand, this is absolutely

rip-your-heart-out material, yet here we are putting one foot in front on the other.

Sometimes just picking ourselves back up and putting one foot in front of the other is the strength of a warrior. We must keep moving forward! At the end of six weeks I was burnt out. This was an exhausting time for Katie and myself. Frankly, I think we were really sick of sharing space. I think we NEEDED some space. So, after six weeks, I left the Connector Rx hanging by the back door. The next day, I heard Katie's early morning scripts and I knocked on her door. I enter after hearing the usual, "Come in, Mommy." Katie reached for me, I picked her up. We changed her diaper, got dressed and with this new freedom from connectedness, Katie once again went running out her room. I hung my head in despair, another day in the world of ASD. I remember hearing the pitter patter of her little feet as she took off down the hallway. Then, silence. I cocked my head as the pitter patter started getting louder and Katie burst into her bedroom where she had left me sitting on the floor and said,"Come on, Mommy!" Do you know what most families living with autism would give to hear, "Come on Mommy" ?! Katie then took off back down the hall without waiting for me, but that was my moment in time and I'll take it. That was my payback for the last six weeks. That was, "Yes, come on mommy... show me what comes next." That is a moment to be celebrated. A moment to scream from the peak of Mount Autism. A moment to hold so dear to my heart, a moment that I can close my eyes and relive again and again and again. We must stop time and relive our mini celebrations. It is what keeps us relentlessly striving for more. Have you ever watched a neurotypical youngster? They have an invisible leash, and even as they are exploring with passion they are checking in with their parents with just as much passion. You can see their enthusiasm as they are about to take the lowest apple stacked perfectly in the grocery store, but right before they pull it there is a glance over to their parent. A raised eyebrow and a shake of the head, and disaster is averted. As a part of our painful journey, our mission is to try and recreate this "leash", this connectedness, this reciprocity, this beautiful shared experience we call life. We must do our best to teach this ultimate lesson, "You need me and I need you to have a genuine relationship." This message to Katie has become my mantra, whether it is just a glance or a more complex verbal exchange. Until the end of my journey with Katie, I will ask her to LIVE, FEEL, and LOVE with ME.

Our Connector Rx is more dynamic now, and it breaks if one of us pulls too hard. I can clearly recall a moment last week, early in the morning. I love my coffee like Katie loves her little Snow White doll, and these two items happened to be

in opposite corners of the room. We both made an enthusiastic beeline in opposite directions, Katie for her princess doll and me for my coffeepot. The Connector Rx broke and I smiled. I smiled because it was a reminder for ME. Slow down! Katie looked at me and said, "We broke." We reconnected and then negotiated; I said, "Mommy REALLY needs her coffee." Katie was quiet for a second and then pointed a finger at me and said, "First mommy's coffee... then toys." Perfect.

What is the Connector Rx? It is a tool. It is the rare wind blowing a gentle push in just the right direction on a tough uphill run. It is stacking the deck. Yes, we must stack the deck for our kids. And as they change and grow, we must change and grow. Our Connector Rx must become more dynamic to facilitate more complex interactions. Time has changed Katie. She is almost five. She no longer scripts. We loved our ABA team and then Katie grew and we moved on. We learned, we studied, we embraced RDI and spent every spare moment and dollar on DAN doctors, food therapy, swimming lessons, music therapy, GF/CF diets, play-groups, speech and language therapy, occupational therapy, horseback riding, and of course our angels from PACE Place. All of these efforts have slowly helped us reclaim our lives. Katie is talking up a storm and tonight asked me if we could make brownies. I don't even know where Katie learned that brownies even existed! We cooked together and laughed and licked the spoon and spilled the oil and had a ball. We were completely connected and didn't have to wear the Connector Rx to devour this experience. How much do you think THAT payback is worth?

Katie is thriving. My hope and prayer would be to fill our lives with more and more moments like cooking brownies where we won't need to stack the deck because Katie will have the tools to play her own hand. Someday, she’ll shoot the

moon. I just know it. Thanks to PACE Place for introducing this powerful tool. I hope this will help our fellow warriors as much as it has helped us.” -Christy

Christy’s Family